"My life has changed for the better."
Carlo came to FSA Toronto
feeling very much alone. He had, as he puts it, a "shopping list
of issues." Carlo grew up in a large European
family that had homophobic perceptions of manhood. He had yet
to come out to his family, had recently moved out on his own and was plagued
by self confidence issues. He was alone, conflicted about his job change
and, despite being active in his new community, was having difficulty
making friends. Carlo found himself suddenly very lonely and
profoundly sad. "I was horrible to be around," he says.
After receiving advice that he needed counselling to address his challenges, Carlo saw an ad for David Kelley Services (DKS) in a weekly newspaper. He decided to give us a call and began what would be 20 sessions at FSA Toronto. "My counsellor and I set an agenda about what goals I wanted to accomplish and issues I needed to face.
My list was bigger than most," he laughs. "A lot of my past life was a lot of negative reinforcement and the sessions offered positive reinforcement. I felt better as each session went along and others saw it in me."
All DKS counsellors are members of the LGBTQ community, so people who come to us are able to share their experiences with someone who knows exactly what they are going through. "What made my counselling relationship so wonderful is that he was a true mentor and coach. He shared with me some personal stories about coming out and dealing with changes in his own life as a person and a professional. That made our sessions much more open and honest and not just counsellor and client," says Carlo.
Together, Carlo and his DKS counsellor worked through his issues to help him develop greater comfort with people, to address his conflicts about coming out and to work on his confidence. "My sessions helped me clear my head and think differently about my life and my role. People immediately saw the change in me. My life has changed so much for the better since I was a client at David Kelley Services. Thank you."
Advocating for Families
Prologue: For more than a decade, FSA Toronto has strived to be a leading advocate for the rights of same-sex couples and LGBTQ individuals. When we learned of a legal appeal in which a woman in a same-sex couple was requesting the right to be recognized as the mother of the child she has raised with her partner for five years, we acted on our commitment to promote equal access and not tolerate homophobia.
On January 2, 2007, the Appeal Court of Ontario granted legal parent status to the non-biological mother of a young child. The woman had asked the court to grant her this status without negating the parenting status of her partner, the child’s biological mother, or their friend, the child’s father. With the judges’ decision, a child was recognized with three parents under law for the first time in Canada.
FSA Toronto participated as an intervener in the case in support of the appellant. The case spoke directly to our definition of family and commitment to champion same-sex equity. With substantial support from our pro-bono legal counsel, Blake Cassels & Graydon, FSA was part of this landmark decision, which pushed family law forward by recognizing the various configurations of families and opening the door for judges to act in the best interest of children in similar cases.
"This case is about family: our family, in the first instance. To have FSA stand beside us, work with us, support us toward the end of recognition has been incredibly affirming. It reminds all of our family that we are not alone – and re-affirms our basic commitment to each other, and most importantly to the best interests of our son. Thank you so much." – CC, biological mother in three-parent case.
"As counsel for FSA Toronto, I was inspired by how quickly the agency’s leadership team, staff and board of directors grabbed this project as a new opportunity for social advocacy and meaningful reform. The fit between the facts of the case, the law and FSA Toronto's core values was very tight. [It] brought a perspective to the case that none of the other parties or interveners could, including almost 100 years of working with families in Toronto.
As a firm, Blake, Cassels & Graydon LLP is very committed to pro bono projects across the country, and we have been delighted to be honourary counsel to FSA for many years. On a personal level, it was very rewarding to represent the agency in this important case. I owe a great debt to the associates and students who assisted on the case, especially Courtney Harris, Matthew Horner and Bryn Gray." – Bradley Berg, Lead Counsel for FSA Toronto in three-parent case.
Epilogue: The Alberta Court of Appeal recently recognized the rights of a non-biological father in a same-sex custody case, continuing the legal recognition of new family forms. FSA plans to continue to act on our commitment to advocate for the rights of same-sex couples.
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