How Many More Women Must we Mourn?
Opinion piece by Yves Savoie (FSA Executive Director, Aug. 2003-Dec. 2006) published in Toronto Star, March 13, 2006.
“Wife, 2 children, slain in beds,” this week’s headline read, followed by an all-too familiar subhead: “Husband charged with three murders”. In the same week that the United Nations invited us to celebrate International Women’s Day, we are reminded of the shameful reality that many women in Canada fear for their lives in their own homes.
Our health care system will spend $1.5 billion treating abused women.
Three to six women are murdered each month by their current or former partners in Ontario.
FSA Toronto alone sees 1,000 women each year who have been abused by a partner.
The statistics are grim, but lest the murders of Wendy, Victoria and Jesse LaFleche be interpreted as a tragic rare occurrence, they bear repeating. One in four women in Canada will fall victim to abuse by an intimate partner. Our health care system will spend $1.5 billion treating abused women. Three to six women are murdered each month by their current or former partners in Ontario.
At Family Service Association of Toronto, we work with abused women who are making difficult and courageous choices about how to deal with violence from their male partners.
We assist women who have been abused to find safety and rebuild their lives, but sometimes our support is limited to helping women be as safe as they can while continuing in an abusive relationship. This is not because these women are foolish or masochistic.
It is because they fear for their children, because they cannot afford to live separately, because of strong cultural beliefs about keeping family together and potential isolation by their extended family, or because they know that they may be killed or injured by their partner as a result of leaving.
The diversity of our abuse work addresses same-sex partners, women labeled with a developmental disability who are being abused, sexual abuse survivors and many older abused women. In a multicultural city like Toronto, decisions surrounding abuse in the home can also be complicated by language, cultural and systemic barriers to support. Our agency offers services in many languages spoken by many new immigrants, including Farsi, Somali, Tamil, Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
The vast majority of Canadians abhor the notion of abuse. Yet, few of us—particularly men—speak out against woman abuse to make it abundantly clear that this behaviour is unacceptable. And, sadly, we know it: A 2002 poll of Canadian men revealed that 66 per cent of them feel they are not doing enough to end violence against women.
All the while, the statistics continue to rise. FSA Toronto alone sees 1,000 women each year who have been abused by a partner. The barriers facing women leaving abusive relationships are considerable: the systems of support available through the community sector are severely underresourced financially; many women jump into instant poverty when leaving an abuser; and the legal mechanisms in place to keep women safe are often circumvented. All too often, victims of domestic violence do not escape their situations alive even when their abuse is known by friends, family, community agencies or authorities. When they do, the unseen scars and the lasting effects of violence on their family should never be underestimated.
The reduction of violence against women will not be achieved with an exclusive focus on the administration of the justice and criminal systems. It will not be achieved strictly through interim income supports and affordable housing for women fleeing abusive relationships, although these are critically important. The reduction cannot be achieved strictly through efforts to empower women. We must change the behaviour and attitudes of men who abuse women and to do so we must engage all men.
A co-coordinated government strategy at the federal, provincial and municipal levels is needed to make violence repugnant to men in our society. Premier McGuinty made a strong statement against violence against women shortly after being elected. This leadership is welcome, as are the reform initiatives of the Ontario Government, but to be effective he must be more constant in speaking out and he must be joined by men across society in various leadership roles.
The Premier should call on Prime Minister Harper and Mayor Miller to join him in denouncing violence against women and invite prominent men from all walks of life to do so as well. They should systematically invite women who are abuse survivors to guide and inform their leadership on this issue.
Let’s not simply shake our heads at the problem of violence against women and hope for the best or say it is a private family matter. Violence against women will continue to be a shameful epidemic in Canada until we ingrain the attitude that non-violent, respectful and equitable relationships with women are the preferred ways to be a successful man.
