Mechelle's story:
"The best thing I ever did for myself"
Happy endings are new to Mechelle*, but she is living one today as she prepares to graduate from her program in social work. She can barely contain her excitement. "I want to work with abused women so that I can give back what I learned through my schooling, my counsellor at FSA and my life experience."
A few years ago, these plans would have seemed a pipe dream. Mechelle, a mother of two young girls, didn't think much of her life, having lived with a verbally abusive husband for 10 years. "I had no self-esteem whatsoever. I didn't think I was worth anything to anyone after years of abuse. And I was so angry. Not just at him, but at everything."
That all began to change in 2003, when she returned home to find her daughter with a black eye. Her husband's nephew, who was staying with her family, had hit her daughter in the face with a bag of Dominos. "I got upset because his relatives had seen it and done nothing about it. He thought I had embarrassed him in front of his family and he came after me and pushed me into corner. He tried to strangle me and I grabbed the closest thing I could, which happened to be a bottle, and hit him over the head. Then I called 911."
After arranging for her children's care, Mechelle went to the police station. Both she and her husband were charged. She was cleared of her charges and her husband received a restraining order. The court also gave her information about Family Service Association of Toronto.
"I'm telling you it's the best thing I ever did for myself," she says about calling FSA. She began to meet regularly with one of FSA's counsellors in the Violence Against Women program and her transformation began. "It boosted my self-esteem and it made me into a different person. I started seeing things differently. I learned I didn't have to take that from him."
Mechelle's counsellor helped her examine all aspects of her life. "She helped me find housing. She helped my kids. We talked about the situation and how they feel and what they are going through. She helped me to be more assertive. She gave me the tools and said this is what you can do."
One of the things she suggested Mechelle could do is return to school. "She told me that I could go on and do different courses. She saw the changes in me and helped me do new things." After Mechelle was settled in her new living arrangement, she began to explore programs and, at the suggestion of her friends, decided to pursue social work. "My friends say I've come a long way from where I was. I was so angry and bitter all the time. I feel so liberated now. I feel I've gained a new sense of life. I'm going out on my placement soon and I'm so excited."
Mechelle will never forget the support she received at FSA. "I
recommend FSA to everyone in my class," she laughs. One day she
hopes to be able to work with the agency's VAW program and help
create the kind of change that she experienced.
"My life has changed so much. I don't yell at my kids anymore.
I'm more open minded and accepting of things and yet I know I don't
have to accept certain things in life. It's such a great feeling."
*name has been changed
